But not that kind

When I was little my mother taught me the code of giving and receiving. Not intentionally though but by setting an example. It was like a form of art. And if you couldn't play by the rules you simply didn't play. Anyway. The code was rooted in me in a very young age and I still play the game by the original rules: kindness is always rewarded by kindness. And the code has to be followed under any circumstances. But when I moved here about six years ago I learned that this game doesn't even exist here. There are no rules. And I still find it difficult because I can never tell if my kindness is going to waste. I'm kind but I'm not that kind. But I still play the game.

I wish I could postpone Christmas. I'm just not ready. And in a way I have started to think it as an ending. My work won't be the same after Christmas: S. quit her job today, O. will quit on Friday and eventually J.R. will quit too. They made it bearable so what happens when they are all gone and I still have to have to stay there for weeks?

I wish I could postpone Christmas. I'm just not ready. I still have to get like gazillion presents and I'm totally out of ideas. Sello is the worst shopping mall for Christmas shopping. The Body Shop is like the only place where you can actually get good presents and other shops are just waste of time.