Wednesday, March 29, 2017

When you realize how little you know

My new coworkers keep asking me about my new role in communications team, but I honestly don't have an idea yet. As far as I know I am just a helping hand in some bigger projects and an unofficial assistant to some people. I feel that they have bigger plans for me than I have for myself.

In the past two weeks I have been introduced to many new things. It seems there are many rules and principles in communications and marketing and it makes me worried sometimes that I'll never learn enough or fast enough. It is a whole new world and I don't know yet if I belong there too.

So right now I am just trying to learn, to suck in every possible bit of information and advice I can. I try to be very organized, professional and on top of my game. Fake it till you make it. I feel like faking most of the time because I am not used to this new way or working. I am used to work in a way you can easily count and measure. Going from one meeting to another doesn't feel like working to me, or replying to emails. I have more time to chit-chat and to get myself a cup of coffee than ever before.

I kinda like it too. It feels like faking but it also feels very grown-up. Maybe this is what adults too. Reply to emails and sit in boring meetings? And sometimes I miss my "normal" work like crazy. It is more measurable and I feel like working my ass of every day, knowing what to do when and how to do it well. Best of both worlds, but I had no idea in advance how different those worlds would be.

I am getting some ideas though. I don't know. I feel like doing something but I just need to find the time and energy to do it. I would definitely want to write more, more of this and more of that. And photograph things too. Create things, maybe that is the word I was looking for. I want something to both support my professional growth and to document it. I would like to blog about my journey. To make it more real, to figure out what it is that I really, really want to do and to have something to show.

I just don't know how. Plus most of the time I am just too tired to do anything anyway.

Sunday, March 05, 2017

When you work hard and it actually pays off

It took me quite some time to figure out what I am passionate about. Or in other words, it took me some time to realize that the thing I am passionate about is the thing I have always been passionate about.

I have always loved writing and I have always wanted to write for a living, but when I was younger and making my first ever career choices by choosing which schools to apply, writing meant same as being a author and being an actual professional author seemed like an impossible dream. I never really dared to explore that path, it was clearly for bigger dreamers ad for more talented people, and I was too uneducated to know that you have many other options than being a author or a journalist if you love writing.

So maybe I went to the wrong school and studied the wrong things, and then took the wrong job. But I did not end up in a hole like I thought I did. My own little hole actually got me somewhere: it helped me to actualize the thing I am passionate about.

I realized it's not the writing I love but being able to communicate. Communicate by talking, writing, creating content, giving presentations... Engaging with people. And once I realized what my goal was it was also easier to work hard to get there.

The goal seemed unreachable even though I had a pretty solid idea how to get there. I knew what to do and with whom to network with. And I did all I could to get myself closer to my goal. There are people who think everything fell into place by itself, but they honestly don't have an idea about how hard I worked. I worked my ass off!

Earlier this year I applied to a communications job in my company that I was really not so keen about it. I love my company but I have no desire to help it to get more revenue. Internal communications is what I am passionate about. I have a really good image of the people who work in the same company, thanks to my entry-level IT-support job. I know them and I love them

I only applied to get closer to my goal, I felt obligated to do it. How could I be serious about my goal if I don't even apply a job that on paper sounds perfect for me?

Luckily I didn't get the job, and I was relieved because it really wasn't the job for me. But apparently the interview went super well since couple weeks later they contacted me and offered me a different job.  They started by apologizing that I didn't get a job I applied for, that they picked someone else. And then they continued and offered me a job that sounded absolutely perfect. There'd be some projects coming and that they would really appreciate my help and expertise.

On 15th I will officially start in my new job as a communications specialist. It's a part time gig. I have to share my weeks evenly between communications and IT, but it suits me just fine. I get to enjoy the best of both worlds and eventually it will lead me closer to my goal; it will give me the tools, the experience, the everything to help me pursuing my dreams.

So I got out of the hole. Faster than I thought.

I still don't know where I end up. Whether I land a full time job in internal communications or not. Whether it is what I want or not. But it feels good to be on the path to somewhere.