The reluctance

Over a year ago I met my old school friend by accident. I had not seen her for years, I think it had been like seven years since I had seen her the last time. But there she was, suddenly, in the same train with me. We quickly chatted, shared quick updates about our lives, ans agreed to stay in touch and meet up again.

Well. I am not exactly good at organizing things. All I ever want to do is to stay home with my boyfriend. I don't want to go outside my own little home. And she was bad at organizing things as well. Whether she was too busy or I was too busy or it was simply too cold to meet up. So eventually it just slipped away and I let it slip. It was me who stopped responding to her messages.

And I've always been that way. I like the idea of having friends but I never want to actually see those so called friends. It's too much trouble. I am seriously happy that my best friends works in the same team with me so I get to see him all the time during my office hours. I can't even imagine how rarely we would actually meet if we didn't work together.

And as much as I like the idea of having friends I also miss my old friends. Old colleagues, old school mates, old best friends, ex everything. I often feel like reaching out to them, trying to catch up, trying to meet up. But the reason why I don't do that is that I actually don't want to do it. Not really. I like the idea inside my head but the reality of sitting in front of something you lost contact long time ago is kinda dreadful. I simply hate small talk and I feel relieved whenever I eventually lost connection with someone. One person less to keep in touch with, yay.

Sometimes I wonder where this all ends up. I am indeed a human and I need to have connection with others. I am too social to be an actual  hermit. But I want to keep my social circle as small as possible. I am perfectly happy sharing my life with my boyfriend. I am perfectly happy that the two people I see outside my romantic relationship are my two roommates sneaking in or out their own rooms. What I am trying to say is that I move on, constantly. I move on and leave people behind and move on and on. I think it is normal, I am sure it is. But I feel like nobody in my life really stays forever. They come and then they go. And I let them go, I happily let them go. I am happy when they are gone because it's a lot less work.

And I wonder if it is some form of laziness. The reluctance to make effort to keep in touch with people. Should I make more effort? I just don't know how. I am way too busy doing absolutely nothing. These are just some things I ponder inside my head. Having friends and being too busy for them. Maybe I should join Facebook? Is that how normal people do it?

But then again NO

Oh my. I thought the Blogger post editor was looking all new and fresh... And I liked it a lot! Then I realized it's still the same post editor, I just had it zoomed at 125%. That's gonna be my new default. Sometimes things do look better when they are bigger. Anyway.

I've been reading even more of my old blog posts and now it annoys me that I started to write less personal stuff because all the hobbies stuff are driving me pretty much crazy. I don't give a damn about the things I've crocheted in the past, I want to know how I have felt! 

I kinda feel like starting a new blog, but then again NO. I already have too many blogs. A new one would not change a thing. I should just stick with what I have. It's just hard to start being more personal after being so vague for so long. Maybe I should start an anonymous blog, with a completely new pseudonym. But then again NO. That sounds to laborious. 

Blogger girl problems?

Here we go again!

Just when we thought everything would be alright in our dog hairy world... Last time it was Niila's teeth, now it's Papu's eyes. She has had a series of eye infections and her eye problems just keep on coming. First we got an antibiotic eye drop regimen for two weeks. Then week off and the problems came back. Then two weeks with antibiotic cortisone regimen. Teary eyes again. Now we have given her antibiotic cortisone eye drops for a month and guess what? Her eyes are still teary! The vet doesn't have anything else to do, so she suggested we go see an eye specialist. Here we go again...

I'm just worried that it might be something that can't be fixed. My dogs are my babies and I can't stand the idea of losing them. Ever. I hope they live forever. I know that their vet history could be a lot worst. There's one Finnish blog where the min pin owner has described her dog's clinical history and it makes me cry every time. I'm happy that so far we have only had such minor problems. Teeth. Eyes. At least it's not epilepsy or cancer or anything. Probably.

I think I should talk about something happier too. Like the fact that we made the pups to sleep outside the bedroom. Papu was never allowed to go in the bed in the first place, and she never really tried it either. It was like she knew that the bed wasn't her area. But Niila, the stubborn, lovely Niila. She wanted to sleep in the bed. She really, really wanted to. She started sleeping in her own bed like a good girl, but during the night she always insisted to sleep under our duvets. And imagine trying to teach that little dog when it's 3am and you only want to sleep before the alarm bell rings. So she had her way and slept happily in the bed.

But it was unfair to Papu, so eventually she was invited to the bed too. Which was mistake obviously because our bed is ridiculously small. And J.R. started to complain that he doesn't sleep well anymore because the pups are sleeping on him.

But Niila has one embarrassing feature. She likes to pee in our bed. She was quite house trained but this was just a habit she seemed to have. "Yay, peeing in mommy's and daddy's bed is so much fun". Fun for her, but not to us. Especially since we usually noticed it only after we got to bed. Stupid tiny bladders, stupid tiny brains!

Anyway. Since Niila is so eager to pee in our bed, we decided that they're not allowed in the bed anymore. And to make sure that they don't keep us awake with their requests to sleep in the bed, we decided that they're not even allowed to sleep in the bedroom. So now they sleep in the living room in their tiny little beds.

At the first night Niila whined and whined and whined because she wanted to sleep with us, but the next nights after that has been all quiet. It seems that they don't really mind sleeping in the living room. After all, they have each other so they're not completely alone and isolated.

But I miss them. I miss them sleeping in the bedroom with us, not necessarily in the bed with us. But I miss them. They're my babies like I said, and I worry about them when they're not close to me. What if Papu gots an upset stomach and can't wake J.R. to take her out? What if?

But look at their tiny little beds! And they have matching sleeping bags nowadays!

I've noticed that the pups don't prefer much where they sleep, but there's one pattern they have: they always seem to sleep next to each other, cuddling.

I think they're just precious when they sleep like that. They look like best friends or real sisters. When I watch them sleep together it makes me happy. It makes me happy that they seem to like each other genuinely.

Let me guess, you're a cat person?

Don't you find it funny when a person who hasn't obviously ever own a dog writes how dog owners are retarded and probably somehow even crazy? I do, and that's something I just recently read from HS.fi (online version of a Finnish news paper). The story started when someone saw somebody shopping with a chihuahua in a hand bag. You know, because it's the end of the world when you take the dog shopping with you instead of leaving it alone at home for hours. And yeah, it's seriously twisted when you carry the dog when you're in the shops as it would be otherwise prohibited to take the dog inside. For a dog owner this is a perfectly logical scenario, it's just not so common in Finland yet.

And according to the writer, there must be something seriously wrong in a person who calls herself a mommy of a dog. Well, excuse me? How do you define what is a "mommy"? If it requires that something comes out from your v-jay-jay, that would leave out all the adopted kiddies?  And what about extended families? If I raise a dog from a puppy, feed it, play with it, train it, take it out... I think it gives me the right to call myself a "mommy" if I want to. And if I'm the mommy... then I can call the dogs as my furry babies too!

I don't think there's anything wrong or twisted to think that the dog is part of the family. Of course they are. In a matter of fact, I think there is probably something very wrong in the humans who exclude the dog from the family (though working dogs may be an exception).

I think it's natural that only dog owners understand dog owners, but what makes a non-dog owner to believe she can criticize dog owners without creating a serious conversation? The text has received 306 comments so far. Most of the people said that her "truths" were plain stupid and that she knows absolutely nothing about dog ownership.... and the rest of the crowd said she's "right" and all dogs should be like abolished from the earth. Those silly people.

I think these so called dog despisers have missed something. And that something is fun. Why would anyone get a dog if it only means an endless list of chores and responsibilities? I think you're supposed to have fun with your dog! You're supposed to sign every single holiday card with your dog's name if you want to, or to write a blog from your dog's perspective (according to the writer these are all symptoms of craziness). And maybe you could even dare to take the dog shopping in Finland.

I know I'm having a blast with my dogs, no matter what other people might think about us. How about you?

No kids to the dog park, PLEASE

Papu is not socialized with kids. We were aware that she should have had some positive experiences with children during her puppyhood, but we didn't really had any kids in our social circle. The only kids we knew were my niece and nephew, so at least it was guaranteed that she would get some kind of experiences with kids. Unfortunately the experience she got was extremely negative. When Papu met my nephew for the first time, he ran after her and made loud noises. It took a while until his mother managed to stop this behavior and by the time my nephew was in control, Papu was already totally apprehensive.

I didn't know back then how much a negative experience can affect the dog when they happen during the puppyhood. Papu still doesn't act well around kids that are in the same age as my nephew and she certainly doesn't tolerate my nephew. I have to keep her on leash when he's around or else she will try to attack him. Too bad that his family doesn't really get this and doesn't bother to inform me when they're going to be around. They just show up and I have to struggle to get everything under control. It really annoys me that their kid did this to Papu and yet they don't do anything to prevent the problems. They let the kid run around before I get a hold on Papu. I think it's only a matter of time when Papu actually bites him and I will not blame Papu when that happens because I have always done my best to keep the two separated.

Anyway. This was just a long prologue for the next story.

It really bothers me when people bring their kids to the dog park. It's not exactly forbidden, but it says in the general dog park rules that "notice that not all dogs are tolerating kids" and in my world that simply means "don't bring your effing kids here". Since Papu is not OK with kids, I can't go to the dog park if there is a kid. And sometimes people don't even realize that it can be a problem! One time I was alone with Papu in the dog park and a family came with a giant Saint Bernard puppy. The father asked if the giant puppy was problem to us. I said "no... but the kid certainly is". He looked surprised.

I also think it's bad parenting to bring kids to dog park. Of course kids need socializing with dogs too, but that's a wrong place. It's never a good idea to surround the kid with strange dogs. Once I didn't notice that there was a kid in the dog park when I went there with Papu because the dog park was so full of big dogs. And the kid ran around, petted every single dog roughly and threw sand on them... And the parents didn't even keep an eye on her! I was mostly shocked by this behavior.

I think all dogs should be welcome to the dog park whether they like kids or not. They are called as "dog parks" for a reason. They are not just fenced parks with "dogs allowed" signs. They are the place for the urban dogs to run freely and socialize with other dogs. Playgrounds are for kids. And since dogs aren't allowed at the playgrounds, kids shouldn't be allowed at the dog parks either. It's only logical and fair, and best for all.

Edit to add: Of course we are training Papu to not react badly when for example a kid walks by, but every time we visit my parents, my nephew does something to harass Papu again and everything starts over. It's hard to convince Papu that kids are not dangerous when she continuously gets bad experiences from them.

And now a cute puppy picture:

The most hurtful thing you can say to a dog owner?

I think I had my second encounter with a dog hater today. The woman was around forty and for some reason she was hanging by the door that leads to the bike room (where the residents of this building can keep their bikes so people won't steal them). I don't know what she was doing there, because these apartments are for students only and she looked nothing like a student in her posh flower dress and high heels. Anyway. Papu usually barks once or twice if we meet strangers on our way out. Sometimes she barks like crazy, but since we live in the second floor (or first floor depending how you count) we are usually out before anyone gets annoyed. I know she shouldn't bark at all, but we haven't exactly done anything to stop it because

a) the hall is usually empty
b) nobody is bothered because people here are used to barking dogs

And you probably guessed it; Papu started to bark and since the woman wasn't moving anywhere and other people were making noise in the bike room, she kept barking. When we get close to the woman she said "what's wrong with your dog?!" ("mikä sun koiraas vaivaa") and since I didn't bother to answer she continued "train your dog" ("kouluttaisit ton koiras"). Her tone was really aggressive and the things she said made me seriously upset. It was hard not to cry when we finally got out.

Papu means the world to me and I have done my absolute best to take care of her. Life has not been so easy with her and I have tried so effing hard that you have no idea. God knows how many times I have cried over her because the things have looked so hopeless. And after all that pain and tears and misery, suggesting that I have failed with her is the most hurtful thing anyone could ever say to me. I know that Papu is still very far from the perfect dog she could be, but I'm doing OK with her. She's OK too. We are getting there eventually. I'm not a failure as a dog owner.



And I love my dog no matter how loud she barks.

But that woman obviously wasn't a dow owner herself. Dog owners know that other people's dogs are a very sensitive subject. Their like babies, and you definitely can't say to a mother that her kid's shitty even when it's completely true.

One stinking dog poop story and some very, very exciting news

It seems that I love stories about dog poop... A little while ago I was walking with Papu when we bumped into a big dog we knew from the dog park. I said "hi" to the owner and checked the dog's name because I wasn't sure if I remembered it correctly. The dogs also greeted each other. Then we started to move on since we were heading to the same direction. Everything was pretty usual, until his dog started to poop and he did nothing, I mean absolutely NOTHING to pick up after his dog and he made no excuse why he wasn't doing so. And I was standing right next to him!

Finnish law says that in all urban areas it is compulsory to pick up the dog poop. There's absolutely nothing voluntary in it. If you get a dog and you live in the city, you have to pick up the dog poop too. And it wasn't any shady forest we were walking in, but a very popular and lovely pedestrian street. And the dog pooped on the lawn where Papu usually walks! I thought it was very irresponsible and plain stupid.

People who don't pick up dog poop are responsible for feeding dog hatred. No wonder there are people who don't like dogs if all they see is a smelly mess! I think it's my responsibility as a dog owner to pick up poop so the neighborhood stays dog friendly. There are hundreds of dogs in this area, and if we all suddenly stop picking up dog poop, they would eventually ban dogs from public places. The vision is so not nice. Besides, I don't like to see piles of poop either when I'm walking with Papu, and I don't know who does. Probably those people who don't do their share to keep places clean.

In case you're wondering, there is actually one good enough excuse for not to pick up after the dog: If the dog has upset stomach, there might not be anything to pick up at all...

Enough with the dog poop now. I have other news to share too.

My mother found a thin mattress from the flea market and she thought it would make a nice dog bed. I agreed with her and bought it. My mother later donated me some giraffe fabric and I sewed a cover for the mattress. I think it looks really nice and colorful now:



There mattress is actually folded in half in that picture above. Since it's so big you can easily make a nice dog burrito with it:



Or you can simply open it to make enough room for two dogs:



And we actually need room for two dogs... because we are getting a NEW PUPPY!!!