Why I have been quiet lately

I've been sad and depressed lately. I don't know why. Maybe it's because of the summer. I have started to miss those summers when everything was still so very simple. When I was naive and the world was oh so open to me. And when it was just me and V. and playgrounds and cigarettes and silly chats.

I don't miss V. though she was out of doubt one of the greatest friends I've ever had. I kinda hope that she doesn't read my blog anymore. Or maybe she does. I don't know what kind of a stalker she is nowadays. Anyway. She changed and she wanted to get rid of me. I understand that. And I still believe that it was her who ended our friendship. I might have had some part in it, but it was her. I was here, I was always here. She was never there, she never invited me in.

Anyway. So I've been sad. And I have never been this low. And I'm not even deep. I'm just... sick. I have had these periods of darker thoughts ever since I remember. I'm used to this. I'm just worried that my friends, hopefully I still have some, aren't. I don't need them to save me when I tell them how I feel. I just want them to understand that I'm going trough something and I need some time get over this.

And I will get over this. Like I have before. I might just need some time. Or some J.R. Either will do.