Wednesday, March 29, 2017

When you realize how little you know

My new coworkers keep asking me about my new role in communications team, but I honestly don't have an idea yet. As far as I know I am just a helping hand in some bigger projects and an unofficial assistant to some people. I feel that they have bigger plans for me than I have for myself.

In the past two weeks I have been introduced to many new things. It seems there are many rules and principles in communications and marketing and it makes me worried sometimes that I'll never learn enough or fast enough. It is a whole new world and I don't know yet if I belong there too.

So right now I am just trying to learn, to suck in every possible bit of information and advice I can. I try to be very organized, professional and on top of my game. Fake it till you make it. I feel like faking most of the time because I am not used to this new way or working. I am used to work in a way you can easily count and measure. Going from one meeting to another doesn't feel like working to me, or replying to emails. I have more time to chit-chat and to get myself a cup of coffee than ever before.

I kinda like it too. It feels like faking but it also feels very grown-up. Maybe this is what adults too. Reply to emails and sit in boring meetings? And sometimes I miss my "normal" work like crazy. It is more measurable and I feel like working my ass of every day, knowing what to do when and how to do it well. Best of both worlds, but I had no idea in advance how different those worlds would be.

I am getting some ideas though. I don't know. I feel like doing something but I just need to find the time and energy to do it. I would definitely want to write more, more of this and more of that. And photograph things too. Create things, maybe that is the word I was looking for. I want something to both support my professional growth and to document it. I would like to blog about my journey. To make it more real, to figure out what it is that I really, really want to do and to have something to show.

I just don't know how. Plus most of the time I am just too tired to do anything anyway.

1 comment:

  1. Most meetings are a waste of time. :D But otherwise it's normal to have a lot of new things to learn in a new job. Even if the title is exactly the same as before, a new company or a new team will have different practices that need to be learned.

    I can definitely relate to being too tired to do anything creative after work...