Amy Winehouse

This blog only touches the surface of my life. I have tried to dig deeper but every time I write something little more personal here I come later and delete it. I know that some of my friends read this blog and I'm afraid how my personal shit (Julia loves that phrase) may affect them. I have seen it all happen before: You open your heart with no expectations. But they start to feel responsible since they now know and then they feel that they should do something to make things better. And nobody wants that kind of responsibility. So they start to avoid you and finally you loose them. I have done it too so I know what I'm talking about. That's the reason why I'm not sharing my secrets here or anywhere.

Now back to happier things. Desthea dropped me a comment. It was written in Finnish but it's totally OK because a) nobody reads this blog anyway and b) if somebody reads this I bet she/he is a Finn. Anyway. Desthea complimented my English which is something I have heard before. But I have to spoil this image: I don't understand English when it's spoken. I often mix words and I can't watch a movie without subtitles. And, God no, I'm not speaking English. And I guess my grammar sucks... But somehow I feel very comfortable when writing or reading English.

At the moment I'm listening to Amy Winehouse. I just got her album titled "Back To Black" but don't ask how or where. All I have to say is that her voice is quite addictive and that I'm in love with this album. Now I totally understand all the hype around her.

I should update this blog much more often.

It's Alright

I'm really tired. I spent so much time answering to all my e-mails and doing things that I don't even have to. I think I'm too kind. I try to bring some joy to people I don't even know. I know that eventually this is killing me. But I don't know how to stop. This is out of control and I think that all this nerd stuff is actually harming my relationship with Aleksi. I don't know when exactly my spare time became my job.

I'm really tired. I woke up 5.15 am. School was a bore and after school I have been doing a lot. For no reason "Bed of Roses" by Mindless Self Indulgence has been playing in my head during the day. As a song it is quite miserable but the lyrics make so much sense to me.

On And On

I'm very aware that I have not posted for a quite long time. I have a reason for that: First I was visiting my parents at Viiala for several days. And when I returned here I found out something nasty. And my life just turned very upside down. And since I know I cannot write any personal shit here, I decided not to blog at all. But don't worry about me. Life goes on even though I thought mine was over.

I wish I could have a very very very close friend.